If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

szepen sorban mindketto erdekes;)

http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm
http://digg.com/linux_unix/If_Operating_Systems_Ran_The_Airlines_3

( Replaced | 2007. 02. 24., szo – 23:04 )

ezt de jol kitalata egyik hozzaszolo:

Linux Air

Inspired by the possibility of free air travel you decide to fly Linux. You search through hundreds of similar sub-companies. They all claim to be able to get you there quickly and safely, but some airlines don't seem to have been used for years and many just specialise in freight. Almost none offer any in-flight entertainment and lack for any instructions but all claim that the other passengers will know what's going on and you should have no problem finding help.

You select Ubuntu Air and have an enjoyable and speedy journey. You even liked the brown suede décor. However you didn't hear anything through the headsets, even though everyone else seemed to have no problems!

:D

--
whatever

( zsitvaij v | 2007. 02. 24., szo – 23:42 )

from http://web.archive.org/web/20050529100916/http://capitalism.kicks-ass.n…

One day, if I find out who wrote the original “If operating systems were airlines” bit of Linux Propaganda, I may wring his fucking neck. Here’s the offending section:

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”

Uh huh. Well, here’s my version. The difference being that I actually USE Linux:

The 14 year old, ADHD-suffering kids of disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. In fact they rebuild them every few months with different materials because they think it’s inherently cool or something. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. You take a brief glance at the instructions and attempt to bolt the seat into place. After all, you’ve assembled Ikea furniture before so this shouldn’t be too hard, right? WRONG! It doesn’t bolt into place. You start again and this time read the instructions thoroughly but it still doesn’t work. Something is going wrong that the instructions simply won’t address. Indeed the damn instructions appear to be more interested in carrying on about how cool Linux Air is than actually explaining “So, you want to bolt your seat down? Step A, do this, followed by Step B blablah.” like sensible instructions written by people who aren’t high-functioning autists.

By this time the people next to you are looking at you with an “I am wishing cancer upon your head!” expression because you’re holding up the flight. You ask them if they can help you get this damn seat working, to which they roll their eyes and rant about how you haven’t been following the instructions properly. Finally, you return with an Arc Welder and weld the seat down directly onto the motherfucking fuselage like it should have been in the first place. The people next to you tut-tut and say that’s not the right way to do things. You tell them to get bent.

The seat is fully adjustable, but only if you’re wearing your sleeping blindfold while adjusting it. Apparently real Linux air travellers don’t use their eyes when adjusting anything, because eyes are for sissies. In fact, some of them keep their blindfolds on the whole flight, and everyone else treats these people with a kind of reverent awe. When you ask why the hell anyone would want to do that, people look at you with a patronising expression normally reserved for the mentally retarded. There are no stewards on the flight, apparently passengers are meant to help each other with meals and music and entertainment and stuff like that. Since this was your first flight you were unaware that this was the case. Everyone else on board indicates in a none-too-subtle fashion that their thoughts involve you, the rear escape hatch and a fairly long plunge.

You ask if anyone has a magazine to read during your flight and get handed a bunch of typewritten pages. You ask again for a magazine and the guy sitting next to you rolls his eyes and says “You wanted something to read. What do you need pictures for? Are you some sort of baby?".

When mealtime comes, you mention that you would like chicken. The guy doing the cooking looks at you as if you’re brain damaged and replies that he only cooks fish. You explain that you are allergic to fish. The cooking guy says if you want to eat chicken for the main course you can cook it yourself. When you mention that you can’t cook he points to the parachute and says you can leave at any time, he’s sure a connecting flight with Windows Air will pick you up. You ask if anyone else on board knows how to cook chicken but you are met with stony silence. You decide to go without dinner, but by this point you’re getting really damn grumpy because what’s the point of getting on a flight if you can’t even choose a meal that’s digestible to you. To add insult to injury, when desert time comes around, practically everyone decides to get up, pitch in and make a bewildering array of deserts. They’re all very pretty and yummy but they don’t at all fill you up or satisfy your nutritional requirements in any manner.

Finally, you reach your destination. Yeah, the plane didn’t explode like the Windows Air ones are prone to doing. And you didn’t get hijacked by terrorists like the XP Air planes do all the time, but the journey was damn well nearly as bad. The people on board are nearly as unfriendly as terrorists are and show a fanaticism towards Linux air that also unpleasantly reminds you of terrorists.

Later, you tell your friends about this nightmarish trip, but then one of them, who flew on Linux Air only once, and for a brief connecting flight, begins haranguing you about how you got it totally wrong and the reason why your trip sucked was because you didn’t take the (Redhat/SuSE/Debian/Gentoo/Mandrake/Ubuntu/Whateverthefuckdistroistrendythismonth) flight instead of the one you did take. Normally you’d tell someone acting like this to get fucked, but they have this weird glint in their eye that makes you realise pushing the issue will probably involve the police in some manner.